Gay Dating Advice
From Adviceopedia
Gay Dating Advice
Stick though the Dating Cycle
Although it can be tempting to jump into a relationship with the first attractive man you meet, don’t. Finding other gay men can be challenge, but don’t let it be an excuse for sticking with someone who is wrong for you.
Break the Routine
If you find yourself struggling through the same problems in every relationship, break your routine. Something in your dating behavior is not working, but you keep trying it over and over. Don’t expect a similar situation to possibly have a different outcome. If your dating style tends to attract jerks, then the style needs to change.
Men are Men
With gay dating, there is no us and them. Gay men date other gay men. Venus and Mars have no place here. Put yourself in your date’s shoes – what would you want from a partner?
Let your Fingers do the Talking
With the explosion of Internet dating, the door is wide open to finding other gay partners. While in the past the struggle to meet others of a similar mindset was more of a challenge, now it almost seems like there are too many possibilities. If you haven’t yet explored online gay dating, now is the time to try.
Determine your Gay Dating Goal
Straight relationships tend to be more simplistic, dating to get married and have kids. Gay dating goals are not as cut and dry. Not only is true gay marriage impossible in most places, not all gay men even want a long term relationship. Before embarking on your next date, ask yourself “what do I really want?” Then, make sure you find a partner who shares the same goals.
Pursuing the Pursuer
In traditional times, men pursued women. Although this has changed in some ways, it still exists in our societal culture today. Gay men tend to have a difficult time knowing how and when to shift roles, from the aggressor to the receiver. The key factor is learning to watch your date’s external clues. His body language will give you hints as to how you should proceed.
- Leaning back with a coy smile and crossed legs is an invitation to let you take the lead.
- Reaching out to take your arm and speaking with a deeper voice is a sign to let him take over.
The Eyes Have It
For seduction the eyes are the key. Practice in the mirror. Learn to look intently for approximately 5 seconds and then slowly look away. Then, take another peek. If you catch him still looking, give him another 5 seconds. The art of eye-catching flirting will help you spot an interested gay man, even from a distance.
Testosterone is Driven by Victory
From puberty and even earlier, men are programmed to be competitive and desire victory. When men are dating other men, this competitive drive can clash. While dating, it is important to let mystery and suspense build. Play a little hard to get and encourage the relationship to move slowly.
Smaller Community
Unless you live in New York City, the gay community in your town will tend to be a close knit group. Therefore, it is important to be careful where you go for gay dating advice. Gossip and rumors can spin out of control faster than you can bat an eyelash.
First Dates and Gay Dating Advice
Whether it is a set up or the first meeting of an online affair, first dates have their unique rules. It is important to meet somewhere public with a short time span planned. A walk in a park or a coffee break are perfect set ups to get to know one another casually.
Hold Back those Beans
Early on in gay dating, don’t spill the beans too soon. One of the most common mistakes is to share too much of your past baggage with a partner early on. There will always be time to open up, but in the beginning stick to lighter topics to help you establish a relationship and trust first.
Be Realistic
If a new relationship gets hot and heavy on the first date, prepare yourself a quick ending. Many gay men are looking for a one night stand only. If you get dumped after a night of wild sex, accept it wasn’t about you at all - just a night of physical need.
Be Safe
With any dating these days but most certainly with gay dating, safe sex is important. The number one important thing to remember in gay dating advice is, wear a condom. It is also advisable to discuss your HIV status. A common question in gay circles so be prepared to have an answer. If you have never been tested, do it now.
