Relationship Compatibility Questions

From Adviceopedia

If your casual dating relationship is turning into a possible long-term commitment, you may want to ask yourself some relationship compatibility questions. Many people become deeply involved with someone they are attracted to only to find out later that day to day living is impossible to negotiate with their partner.

There is not a set of relationship compatibility questions that can give a 100% accurate result as to the outcome of a couple's future. However, a committed relationship is more likely to be successful when entered into thoughtfully. Even if a new couple finds that they have some important disagreements about critical issues, this does not mean that they should not pursue a relationship. Instead it will give them an opportunity to size up their differences and negotiate the solutions ahead of time rather than trying to do so after they have been blindsided by their incompatible feelings.

Basic Relationship Compatibility Questions

Ask your partner to answer these questions as well. Compare your answers to see if you have similar feelings or if you have issues that you might wish to work out before you make a firm commitment to one another.

• Do I expect my partner to be monogamous?

If the issue of remaining sexually monogamous has not already been discussed, do so right away. To many people, the very definition of a committed relationship is sexual monogamy. Do not assume anything, discuss this to prevent unpleasant surprises later.

• What are my expectations for this relationship?

Finding out each partner's long-term plans for a relationship is very important. If one partner has a solid vision of marriage and the other person in the relationship is taking a "let's see where things go" attitude, this can be a formula for heartbreak. Make sure you and your partner are on the same page.

• How important is religion/spirituality to me?

If both partners have strong spiritual beliefs, you want to be sure that this is not going to become an issue in the future. Talk about how you plan to handle religious holidays and traditions if you do not share the same faith or church.

• How will we handle financial matters?

Deciding in advance whether or not to share all finances or how to divide them to each partner's satisfaction can literally save a relationship from doom. Disagreements over money are one of the top reasons that couples break up, so it's important to talk about finances early.

• How do I feel about pets?

If one partner is a cat lover and the other one owns a dog, love may not conquer all. Sometimes one partner does not want pets on the bed, while another may feed their dog from the table. People are often as emotional about their "furry kids" as they are about human children. Talk about pets and what the rules of keeping them will be in advance of sharing a home together.

• Do I want children?

Not talking about having children has caused many people to become disillusioned. Children change a relationship in many ways, and having kids should be a conscious decision by both partners. If your current partner's feelings on children are not compatible with your own, you may wish to rethink your relationship. Do not continue with the hope that he or she will come around to your way of thinking later on.

• Where will we live?

Deciding where you will live together may be based on family, career, and finances. If one partner needs to move due to career opportunities, the other may feel resentful of leaving his or her family. Talk about what living location is acceptable and what is not.

Resources for Determining Compatibility

There are many additional questions that you should consider before entering into a serious relationship. These are a few very important ones that may open up a dialogue between you and your prospective partner. If you find that you do not feel comfortable enough to discuss these issues, you may not be ready to enter into a committed relationship.

You may consider attending some relationship seminars to gain a better understanding of yourself and your potential partner. There are also many books that can provide you with information that will help you discern whether or not you and your partner are compatible. Ultimately, the two of you are the ones that will decide upon the success of failure of your relationship. You know what is right for you, and asking questions will help you get the information you need to make that determination.